


Will Fall Like Roses

by Nyphette



Category: Based on the film not the book, Gone With the Wind - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyphette/pseuds/Nyphette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU of the film version - picks up after Rhett leaves for London - a chance for Rhett and Scarlett to have a happy ending without as much loss</p><p>(I rushed posting this first chapter because I wanted it posted during the 75th anniversary year, so please forgive typos)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> nyphette.tumblr.com
> 
> Twitter: Nyphette_Fics@nyphette
> 
> No part of this work may be reproduced, reposted by a third party on other sites, or translated without the author's permission.

Radiant orange and yellow sunlight hugged the horizon just beyond the main plantation house where Scarlett O’Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler grew up before the devastation of the war changed her life forever. Squeezing a handful of red dirt between her fingers, Scarlett gazed at the land her father affectionately named Tara; knowing with all her heart and soul she would succeed in her next goal. Rhett even told her this place, this precious land, is where she drew her strength, so Scarlett would take refuge here to think of a plan. Tara was her family’s legacy and she refused to lose her connection to this piece of earth for anyone or anything. 

Yet, despite her heart filling with the comfort and solace only Tara could provide, a piece of her remained hollow. How many times did she call Rhett a fool, or laugh at her many beaus for fussing over her while thinking none of them knew their own hearts? Scarlett knew exactly who and what she wanted. Instead, Scarlett realized too late she played the role of the fool all along. The realization of how much she loved Rhett came to light, but no matter how many times she repeated the words to him the day Mellie died, Rhett looked at her with an amused sort of sadness. His patience wore too thin to put up with her after Bonnie died. 

As a mental image of her daughter rose to the surface, Scarlett’s eyes watered. Oh, her precious baby! Closing her eyes against the pain, she would give anything to go back and change everything! All the wealth in her bank accounts, the lumber business and store, even every square foot of her fancy home in Atlanta meant absolutely nothing compared to her child’s life. 

As she continued gazing at the horizon, memories assaulted her of the day Melanie Wilkes lay dying, telling Scarlett to be kind to Captain Butler because he loved her so. Scarlett didn’t fully understand the words at the time because her own tears and guilt tore at her conscious. Melanie’s friendship remained steadfast and loyal; something Scarlett knew she didn’t deserve and took too long to appreciate. Selfish and shrewd, she saw Mellie as the obstacle standing between her and the object of her childhood fascination – Ashley Wilkes. Mistaking Melanie’s kindness for weakness, Scarlett never respected all her sister-in-law did on her behalf and such a regret would haunt her the rest of her life. 

Crying in Ashley’s arms over her realization, needing comfort and assurances, Scarlett instead received another shock to her system. Unaware of Rhett leaving the house, she listened to Ashley speak of his love for his wife, pushing Scarlett away to wallow in his own misery. In that moment, her green eyes saw Ashley, not as the childish idol of perfection she swore to always love, but rather as a stranger. Perhaps she never knew the real man at all – just like her father, Mammy, Rhett, and even Ashley himself told her over and over and over again. Scarlett set her sights on a man she didn’t understand as a silly, unspoiled sixteen-year-old southern belle who wanted the attention of the single man who refused to bow and scrap before her like all the others. 

Every young man this side of Georgia wanted to court the beautiful Scarlett O’Hara and proved their intentions with flirtations and dances and endless compliments. All except Ashley Wilkes, who acted the gentleman, but remained slightly out of reach. The challenge made him stand out of the crowd, quickly becoming the center of her world. Mistaking her crush for love, Scarlett held Ashley in her heart for years, turning a deaf ear to his words of denial. There was a level of infatuation on Ashley’s end and Scarlett latched on to that silver of attention. After all, how could he not be taken with the most admired belle in the county? Ashley was simply better at hiding his emotions, that’s all. However, when push came to shove, he married Melanie and stood by her side in the years since. 

Willful and stubborn, Scarlett drowned out the parts where Ashley said and Melanie were alike and better suited to one another in favor of focusing on the few and far between moments when Ashley said he loved her. They shared a few precious kisses. Beautiful kisses Scarlett swore would make her complete if only she could have more. The memories of those kisses sustained her through her short marriage to Frank Kennedy. Those brief, somewhat lukewarm encounters elevated to blissful, forbidden moments of passion and love, but in truth, Ashley’s wet lips weren’t very different from her clumsy fumbling suitors or her first husband, Charles. 

No, only one man’s touch made her heart race and her toes curl, but Scarlett swore her reactions were the result a hot temper and not from genuine affection. As Mellie lay dying, the harsh reality of her mistakes slammed into Scarlett’s conscience, awakening her to the fact she dressed Ashley up in a fancy suit, thinking she loved the man wearing the clothing, but what she really loved was the fabric on his back. Scarlett obsessed over a fantasy she built up in her mind, never even taking the time to see Ashley’s faults. 

The man sobbing for his wife looked pathetic and cowardly – the drastic opposite of the man Scarlett envisioned all these years. The exact opposite, in fact, of the man who knew all her faults and stuck by her side, who bent over backwards for her even while finding amusement in her misfortunes – and he turned out to be the one standing in front of her all along. Rhett, who paid a fortune in gold to fill her dance card. Rhett, who helped her flee Atlanta when the Yankees were coming and who let her spend his money with near impunity once they were wed just to see her smile.

Needing him and finding him gone, Scarlett raced through the mist back home, her heart full to bursting with the urge to tell him of her feelings, only to face Rhett’s indifference. For the first time in her life, apologies and declarations of love got her absolutely no where. Rhett left, saying he wanted a divorce, having completely given up on their marriage. Well, Scarlett sobbed her tears, but refused to give up on him now! They suffered indescribable losses, but they had happy times, too, so their marriage couldn’t end! It just couldn’t!

Coming home gave her hope. When she set her sights on something, rarely did Scarlett fail to get her way. Ashley may be the one exception, but Scarlett knew Rhett loved her! He must! 

Lifting her head, smiling as she basked in the sun’s warmth, Scarlett inhaled lungfuls of fresh air feeling renewed. Rhett said he would return to Charleston and she wouldn’t be far behind him. They may have lost their daughter, but their love remained and they could rebuild their marriage. Charleston would be a fresh start for them both and she would give him more children. Oh, to have his babies…

A loud clap of thunder caused Scarlett’s eyes to snap wide. Jolting up in bed to the sound of heavy rain pounding against the windows, she fought to draw air into her lungs as her eyes darted around the darkened surroundings. No, this couldn’t be right. She was just at Tara, so how could she be back in her house in Atlanta? Climbing out of bed, reaching for her blue velvet wrap on the back of the chair, Scarlett put her arms though the sleeves as her eyes searched for the clock. With the storm blocking the moonlight, she couldn’t see a thing, so she ventured to the hall. 

The house felt quiet, but at this time of night everyone should be asleep. Unless she came here alone? Why couldn’t she remember? Mind foggy and confused, Scarlett paused at the top of the stairs. As her fall replayed through her mind, she winced. Gripping the railing tight, she took carefully calculated steps to the bottom. A gas lamp burned softly in the dining room and for a split second thought she would see Rhett sitting at the table. Instead, emptiness greeted her.

Pausing at the head of the ornate formal dining table, Scarlett recalled the fight after Ashley’s birthday party. Rhett’s jealousy caused him to drink well into the night, and by the time she accidentally crossed his path, he was too far gone. Yet, he could have hurt her, but he didn’t. In fact, Rhett’s gentle lovemaking belied his rage and gave evidence to the argument he truly loved her.

The next morning, Scarlett’s reception took a dramatic turn when Rhett apologized as if their night together was nothing more than a mistake, then had the gull to leave for London! Taking Bonnie without as much as a by-your-leave, Rhett insulted her for good measure! Scarlett should be furious with him, especially after the morning sickness took hold - and she was - but the oddest thing happened. Scarlett actually missed the scoundrel. Oh, she missed Bonnie too, of course, but the house felt so empty without Rhett’s footsteps in the hall and his cigar smoke wafting through the air. 

Sighing, Scarlett turned away from the dining room to venture through the parlors, unsure of a purpose or direction. What was the use in wishing for her husband? Rhett just left and until she could follow, thinking about him only caused pain. Try as she might, the memory of the party at Twelve Oaks popped into her mind, specifically when Careen told her of Rhett’s scandalous past. The story sounded like Rhett simply refused to marry a girl he drove out after dark, but could that be the whole story? Scarlett never cared for the details until now, but if she was going to go all the way to Charleston to get him back, then she should know why he left in the first place, shouldn’t she?

A second later, Scarlett gasped realizing she knew as little about Rhett as she did Ashely! Loving the wrong man for years, for all the wrong reasons, did she now fancy Rhett because he no longer wanted her?

No, her heart firmly stated. The realization of loving Rhett for years came before she knew he would leave. Still, the damage seemed done. Scarlett’s cruelty to him after Bonnie’s death, as well as her stubborn refusal to let go of her dreams of Ashely, finally succeeded in breaking him.

Thinking of Bonnie, the tears welled. Unable to hold back, Scarlett let the moisture slide down her cheeks as she collapsed into the closest cushioned chair. Sobbing until she hiccupped, the nausea hit. Barely making her way to a water basin in time, she heavily retrenched her last meal. Coughing and shaking, Scarlett didn’t notice the lamp glow right away.

“There, there chil’,” Mammy said as she patted Scarlett’s shoulders. “Jus’ let it out.”

Wiping her mouth, Scarlett inhaled several deep breaths before facing her beloved nurse. “Oh, Mammy!”

Hugging the woman, Scarlett indulged in a few more tears before gathering her strength. “I don’t remember coming back to Atlanta,” she confessed. “Do you think it’s grief catching up with me?”

“Miss Scarlett,” Mammy frowned. “Whatcha mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean,” she snapped. “We were just at Tara!”

Frown deepening, Mammy shook her head. “We ain’t visited Tara since da spring plantin’!”

Blinking, confusion knotted Scarlett’s forehead. “No, after Rhett left, we went back to Tara.”

“Mista Rhett left fer London three months ago, but we dinna go back ta Tara.”

“No,” Scarlett insisted with a shake of her head. “That’s not right, Mammy!”

“Calm yerself, chil’.” Mammy put an arm around her mistress’s shoulders to guide her back to bed. “Ya jus’ a liddle confused with da baby and all.”

Breath hitching, Scarlett looked at Mammy as if she head two heads. “Baby?”

“Dr. Mead told ye jus’ last week. Ya don’ remember dat?”

“No, I do, it’s just-” Dr. Mead didn’t visit her last week. That visit came months ago and she couldn’t be carrying Rhett’s baby now because they didn’t - because he came home, then she fell, then Bonnie – “And then he went back to Charleston.”

Completely unaware of saying her thoughts aloud, Scarlett swallowed hard seeing Mammy’s long stare. “Mista Rhett’s still in London wit Miss Bonnie,” Mammy insisted. “Ye jus’ had a bad dream, Miss Scarlett.”

“No, Mammy! This was _real _!”__

“A good night’s rest oughtta fix ya right up-”

Too confused to argue, Scarlett allowed the servant to help her back to her room. Climbing beneath the covers, she wondered if someone was playing a cruel trick. She wasn’t crazy! Scarlett prided herself on her common sense! Something Ashely completely lacked!

Tossing and turning, she banished Ashely from her mind. He was the last person she wanted to think about now! All she could think of was the dream, how her life unfolded, and whether or not she could trust the images. If those events truly were nothing more than a silly nightmare, why couldn’t she banish them from her mind?

Rhett’s voice echoed through her conscious, reminding her how she behaved like a spoiled child. Well, so what if she did? Scarlett vowed to have enough money so she would never have a care in the word like she did after the war, and she accomplished the task! Everyone, even Rhett, wanted her to feel ashamed because they were really jealous! So why did Scarlett keep drawing the conclusion that if she just faced her feelings instead of running from them, if she told Rhett the truth, all of the ugliness could be avoided? After all, they were happy when they first married, but then Bonnie came along and Scarlett knew what having a family really meant. She didn’t want to give up on her dreams of Ashely any more than she wanted to gain weight.

Vanity may be a grave sin, but compared to all the others Scarlett committed, that particular mark looked small by comparison, but paired with pride and, well; there was an utterly different story. If the price she must pay for all of her money and security – because her Catholic upbringing assured her there was always a price – was the loss of Bonnie and Rhett once she realized how much she loved them, Scarlett would be living in a hell of her own making.

Not wanting to think any more of the possible moral of the dream, Scarlett turned over and finally rested her mind long enough to fall back asleep. Hours later, Mammy shook her shoulders, telling her to calm down as her screams filled the room. Coming fully awake, heart slamming in her chest, Scarlett stared at her old nurse as if she didn’t recognize her.

“Ya jus’ had anofer nightmare, Miss Scarlett.”

No, it wasn’t a nightmare. Seeing Bonnie jumping that fence, falling off her horse the same way Pa did – those images were worse than nightmares. Then to watch Mellie die all over again, and Rhett leave, Scarlett wasn’t sure she could handle another night like the one she endured. 

Trying the calm her system, her eyes went to the breakfast tray Mammy brought. At first, the smell of cooked sausage was heavenly, but moments later her senses rebelled. The aroma ignited her morning sickness, causing Scarlett to leap out of bed to run toward the basin. Mammy held back her hair and crooned as Scarlett’s illness made her want to faint.

Weak, she leaned on Mammy as they walked back to the bed. If she harbored any doubts about being pregnant, that little burst of sickness chased them to the hills. Sinking into her fluffed pillows, Scarlett’s gaze searched the opulent room for some comfort, but all the beauty of her furniture and paintings felt…cold and empty. This home wasn’t Tara, and Rhett lived an ocean away.


	2. Chapter 2

Memories of that same dream haunted Scarlett as she dressed the next morning. The lavender gown had plenty of ruffles, but her heart wasn’t comforted by the latest fashions. Mammy served her breakfast, but Scarlett couldn’t keep it down. Thankfully, she didn’t stain the fine chiffon and linen creation. A distraction would help her forget her morning sickness, but going to the mill seemed too much of a chore. Even the idea of venturing into town fatigued her to the bone! By the time Scarlett was able to stand without feeling dizzy, she was told she had a visitor waiting in the downstairs parlor. 

"Hello, Mellie,” she greeted as she entered the lavishly decorated room.

“Scarlett!” Standing, the prim and proper brunette stepped forward to kiss her dear sister on the cheek. The moment she stepped back, however, Melanie’s smile faded. “Are you well? You look awfully pale.”

How could she deny it? Sitting with a sigh, the truth tumbled from her lips before she could think better of it and Melanie’s face lit up at the news.

“A baby! Why, Scarlett, that’s wonderful news!”

“Is it?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?”

Images of the dream rose to the surface, especially the part where she fell down the stairs and lost the child. The echoes of pain made the Southern belle’s breath hitch. “Mellie, please don’t tell anyone about the baby.”

Blinking in confusion, Melanie’s smile only faltered a few degrees. “But this is something our family and friends will want to celebrate!”

Shaking her head, Scarlett wanted to roll her eyes at Mellie’s enthusiasm, but resisted the urge to be rude. “There is still a chance…I could lose the baby.”

Instantly serious, the other woman came forward to clasp Scarlett’s hands. “You mustn’t think such things.”

“Why not?” Sometimes her sister-in-law’s innocence scratched her every nerve! “They happen, Mellie! One never knows.”

Unconsciously placing a hand over her stomach, Scarlett silently warned her heart not to get attached to this child. Yes, she wanted the baby, but she couldn’t dismiss the fears coiling in the back of her mind. The baby was a part of Rhett just like Bonnie. Bonnie…

“You miss them, don’t you?”

Eyes snapping up, she blinked rapidly at the question to keep her tears at bay. “Who,” she casually asked.

A soft, knowing smile took over Melanie’s features. “Captain Butler and Bonnie, of course.”

A huff passed Scarlett’s lips. “You read minds, now, Mellie?”

“I know you,” she said gently.

At first, Scarlett wanted to rebel against the statement, but then realized the truth. Mellie did know her. Despite everything, the kindness in her heart made it impossible for Melanie to judge her harshly. Unnerved, Scarlett rose and walked to the window. Peering through the curtains at the manicured gardens, she desperately grasped at her spiraling thoughts.

“I think I’m about to make a very big mess of my life,” she mused.

“What a thing to say!” Mellie didn’t believe a word her sister uttered. Scarlett’s steadfast will got them through the toughest times of the war. She always found a way to make events work out in her favor, and by so doing, made sure she and Ashley and Beau were provided for. Melanie could never forget Scarlett’s kindness. 

‘”It’s true,” Scarlett insisted. Normally, she never gave credit to fantastical superstitions, but this continuous warning playing behind her eyes every night started to sway that opinion.

“Write to Captain Butler,” Mellie urged. “Tell him about the baby and I’m sure he’ll cut his business short and come home.”

Unable to hold back a scoff, she tilted her head. Rhett said over and over how he didn’t love her. Why would she think for a second he would come home because of a new baby? Before Bonnie was born he even said he didn’t care how many children she birthed! In fact, knowing him, Rhett was having too much fun in London with goodness knows who and keeping Bonnie away from her! 

But Scarlett didn’t dare say a word of her suspicions to Melanie. Oh, not that she feared the other woman would gossip, but rather that Mellie’s sensitive constitution couldn’t handle the knowledge. How could her sister possible understand that her marriage to Rhett seemed over? Given the dream, Scarlett had every right to fear worse was on the horizon. If Rhett came home, all those awful scenes could come to fruition. As much as she missed her daughter, perhaps it was best Bonnie stay away from Atlanta.

“He won’t come home, Mellie,” Scarlett said with conviction. “Perhaps it’s best if he doesn’t.”

Frowning, Melanie hardly knew what came over her sister-in-law. Yes, Scarlett was prone to sour moods, but she never appeared this contrite. Perhaps the changes of pregnancy were the cause. Yes, that must be it.

“You mustn’t get too excited, Scarlett. I’m sure it won’t do you or the baby any good.”

Baby! Baby! Is that all Mellie cared about?! If the dream was true, this baby would never be born! Temper flaring, she whirled to face the other woman, bitter words poised on the tip of her tongue, but at the last second she managed to bite them back when the memory of Mellie’s death floated to the surface.

“Writing Captain Butler isn’t the answer, Mellie! He’ll return when his business is concluded.”

“I could always-”

“No! Don’t you dare, Melanie Wilkes!”

The brunette blushed profusely. “Yes, you’re right. I shouldn’t pry. Forgive me, Scarlett.”

“You’re only being kind,” she sighed. “I know that, but I have to handle this my way.”

“I understand.” Offering a small smile, Melanie took her leave, but the words spoken between them stayed with Scarlett. Should she tell Rhett about the baby? Maybe once the news became obvious, then she may have little choice, but she wanted to put off the conversation as long as possible. As per her nature, Scarlett forced the dilemma from her mind and decided to think about it tomorrow and deal with other matters in the meantime.

Some days were easier than others, but over the next several weeks, Scarlett’s sickness prevented her from visiting the mill more than twice. However, the rumors still reached her ears. Rhett left her six weeks ago and the whole city noticed there were no signs of his returning. Pair that damning incident with the one circulating about her embrace with Ashley just before his birthday party, and gossips like India Wilkes were putting two and two together. As much as she wanted to dismiss the ravings of those ninnies, she did start wondering if she would ever see her husband or daughter again.

After one particularly difficult morning, Scarlett sat at her desk and attempted a letter. Unfortunately, her mind was much more capable with figures and accounting rather than words. Frustrated, she went through several drafts before throwing her pen aside, careless of the ink that splattered across the desk. Putting her chin in her hand, she sulked for several minutes before going to the window.

“Oh, Rhett,” she whispered as she stared at the trees through the glass. “Where are you?”

No answers were forthcoming and a few minutes later, Mammy announced she had a visitor. Smoothing her hands down her skirts, she quickly checked her reflection. Pinching her cheeks, Scarlett hoped no one would guess her condition. This news would only add fuel to the fire.

The moment she entered the parlor, she realized she was to have no relief this day for her guest turned out to be none other than the very woman who first sparked this whole situation! Barely containing her rage, Scarlett forced a smile.

“India Wilkes! How kind of you to visit!”

Matching Scarlett’s fake smile with one of her own, she scoffed. “Save your pleasantries. I’ve come here to warn you away from Melanie.”

Unable to help it, Scarlett burst out laughing at the proclamation. “Why on Earth would I consent to that?”

“Ever since she came to see you that day, she’s been distressed. I know you said something to upset her! Everyone knows how fragile she is, and with you always chasing after her husband-”

“I beg your pardon!” Her outburst may be unladylike, but Scarlett didn’t owe India any courtesies. Ever since she married Charles, India made it her personal mission to lash out at Scarlett whenever possible. Well, enough was enough! “If Mellie is upset by rumors _you _started, then perhaps you’re the one who should stay away!”__

Fist clenching at her sides, India refused to back down or be bullied by this…this…opportunist! “We both know you don’t have any real affection for her! You only associate with Melanie to be close to Ashley!”

“As usual, India, you have no idea what you’re talking about.” Scarlett’s tone turned cold, but her nemesis didn’t heed the subtle warning.

A suspicious smirk appeared on her rival’s face a she titled her chin up a notch. “There are vicious accusations spreading about you,” she stated. “About how Captain Butler has left you high and dry, taken your daughter, and demanded a divorce!”

“Liar,” she hissed, but India’s smile never faltered. She wasn’t afraid of Scarlett’s temper.

“You’re a disgrace!”

“Fiddle-dee-dee! Look in the mirror! You’re nothing but an old spinster-”

“At least I’ve kept my dignity! But you! Why, you’re first husband was my beau! The second, a beau you stole from you own sister! You’re no better than a bottom feeder like those carpetbagger women! And now your third husband had seen through you and traveled across the ocean to get away from your deviousness! The shame will haunt you the rest of your days and it’ll be exactly what you deserve for all the misery you’ve brought upon others! The pain you’ve brought to Ashley!”

The pain _she _brought him?! How about the pain she suffered after every single one of Ashley’s rejections! She was willing to bet this house that the high-and-mighty India had no idea her darling brother kissed her at Tara and led her on while well aware of the fact he was a married man! He said he wanted to run away with her, but his duty to Mellie and their son was the only thing keeping him here! Scarlett hardly held a gun to his head to get him to utter those declarations! No, but Ashley was honorable, while _she _was blamed?____

“Leave my house,” Scarlett icily demanded. “And I will thank you to stop spreading your vicious lies while you’re at it!”

Relishing the fact she got under her emery’s skin, India pressed the advantage. “Some have forgiven your reputation in recent years, but that’s mostly due to how the old bonnets admire Captain Butler and Bonnie, but _I _remember what you’re really like. How your stole Frank Kennedy and got him killed! How you threw yourself at Ashley at the mill! You’re just like Belle Whatling-”__

The nasty words cut off when a resounding slap echoed off the walls. Eyes burning with rage, Scarlett lost her grip on her temper and slapped the superior look off her adversary’s face. If she wasn’t brimming with so much boiling fury she may have taken a moment to admire India’s watering eyes and trembling lower lip, but as it was, she gazed through a red haze. 

“Get out of my house! Now!”

Turning on her heel, India stomped out of the room toward the front door. Undoubtedly, the tattletale would take great pleasure in sharing their encounter with every old bitty who bestowed that ugly spinster with a charitable invitation to tea! When the sound of the slamming door faded, Scarlett sank into the closest chair as the full weight of her actions became clear. As if she didn’t have enough troubles already, now there would be even more gossip floating around this town about her reputation and circumstances. 

Well, she wouldn’t think of that now. She’ll think about that tomorrow after a good night’s rest. Rubbing her temples, thoughts wandered back to Melanie. Why would Mellie be distressed about news of her baby or Captain Butler? Because she had too soft a heart, that’s why. Scarlett wanted to assume her friend foolish for taking so much upon her shoulders, but ever since this dream started plaguing her, she began seeing Melanie in a whole new light.

Returning to her desk, Scarlett avoided the ink droplets and composed a letter requesting Melanie for tea next week. Needless to say, she owed her friend, especially since she knew Mellie would defend her against any callous words India insisted on spreading.

Finished, she rang for the servants to post the letter and clean her desk before heading up to her bedroom. Exhaustion hit her out of the blue these days. Scarlett managed a nap, but woke up feeling nauseous. The next hour was spent attempting to calm her stomach. Mammy tended her with homemade remedies and tucked her back into bed.

Weak, but determined, Scarlett didn’t want any more rest. Just the possibility of suffering that dream again sent a cold chill down her spine. Each time those images swirled, more details were revealed. First, Scarlett felt like she was really falling down the steps and breaking her ribs with each twisting tumble. Then, the emotional weight of Rhett’s regrets tore through her heart, but before she could go to him, Bonnie’s death shook her to her very core. Mellie…Rhett…Bonnie…would it never end?

Eventually, she did drift off for a bit. Tossing and turning, Scarlett woke to the sound of chirping birds. A new day. The realization that the dream had faded came as a small consolation once her morning sickness returned. All this agony for a child that Rhett didn’t even want!

Yet, when the nausea passed, Scarlett had to wonder. Could she be mistaken about Rhett all along, or was her dream merely wishful thinking on her part? Perhaps there was another explanation, but she never believed in any of the mumbo-jumbo the slaves went on about when it came to spirits and such. How could the dream be a warning? How could she ignore it?


	3. Chapter 3

Rumors flew through Atlanta with more vehemence since India’s visit. Scarlett’s potion always seemed a precarious one, but most of the time she didn’t care. However, she greatly underestimated how much the pressure would weigh her down without Rhett here to act as her buffer. Slowly, Scarlett came to realize just how much she took him for granted.

Then again, if he wasn’t so selfish, he would be here with her now instead of gallivanting across London doing goodness knows what! That mongrel left her alone to endure India’s insults and the long looks of the older matrons. Ever since Ashley’s party, India refused to retract her claws. Luckily, folk listened more to Melanie than to her jealous sister-in-law. Scarlett had to admit, having one person to lean on was a small comfort.

Whenever her conscience started nagging at her, Scarlett shrugged it off. Melanie’s kindness was something she shouldn’t take for granted but Scarlett couldn’t seem to muster any more admiration for Mellie than she usually possessed. Besides, as her anger turned more toward Rhett until India insisted on hiding under her rug. At least no one could claim she pursued Ashley because she barely laid eyes on him these days. When Scarlett happened upon the man, he was always on the arm of his wife. Normally, such a sight would fill her with jealousy, but not lately. 

Strangely enough, the envy she harbored toward Mellie vanished as well. What did this all mean? Scarlett wondered when her outlook shifted. Ashley didn’t appear to be the same man she kissed all those years ago at Tara. He said he loved her that day, but insisted honor kept him tied to Melanie and their son. Though heartbroken, she was comforted by the idea that Ashley did truly loved her and obstacles of life were to blame for their separation. But what if she was mistaken?

The sight of Ashley and Melanie now had Scarlett thinking of other explanations to his behavior all those years ago. After all, Ashley made those declarations after returning from war. Perhaps he was confused or afraid of returning to his old life. What Scarlett did know for certain was that she yearned for Ashley less and less. Perhaps her dream revealed more harsh truths she resisted facing.

This thought stoked Scarlett’s anger. Why wouldn’t Ashley just tell her he loved his wife more than her? Why let her pine for him all this time? Maybe he did tell her and Scarlett refused to listen? Well, due to the question her dream roused, Scarlett was willing to weight the possibility that she loved only the idea of Ashley Wilks and not the man himself.

Should she be grateful for those revelations? Scarlett couldn’t shake her night terrors and eventually sought out Dr. Mead for an explanation. He said that women sometimes have vivid dreams when expecting, but the cause was unknown. Fat lot of good that did her!

When Scarlett was expecting Bonnie, she never suffered such symptoms. The nausea, yes, but not nightmares. Last time, the sickness did run its course but did that mean the dream would as well? 

Scarlett certainly hoped so. How many more nights could she tolerate images of her only child’s death and the loss of her husband? Thoughts of Rhett took over and Scarlett hardly knew if she should be livid or melancholy.

How dare he sail off to London and leave her alone! If he were here to witness her turmoil over Ashley and the debacle with India he’d probably have a good laugh at her expense! Ten he’d call her a little fool.

Despite all the hurt he caused Scarlett thought about that man day and night. The big question on her mind was whether or not Rhett loved her. In fact, Scarlett obsessed over the topic more than she ever did Ashley. Late at night, she tossed and turned wishing Rhett magically appeared to hold her and chase away her fears like he used to do when they were first arrived. She craved his warmth and kisses. Was that love? Or did she merely want what she couldn’t have?

Most of her days were spent in a fog of confusion and frustration. Try as she might to forget Rhett by keeping an eye on her businesses, Scarlett could only manage to visit the store. Nausea kept her from journeying the long distance to the mill. 

On day, after a particularly bad bought of sickness, Scarlett needed air and her feet guided her out of the main house toward the stable. Bonnie’s pony happily ate the carrots and apples she fed him. What was Bonnie doing right now? Probably having fun with her father and forgetting all about her mother. A frown came to Scarlett’s face as she recalled how she and Rhett parted. After a night of incredible lovemaking, he got mean. Rhett left just to get even because of their argument over the rumors swirling about her and Ashley. Why did that man declare his love for her in one breath, then turn around and act nasty and cold with the next? Did he purposely want her to doubt him? If so, why?

Men! How was she supposed to figure out his true feelings if he played games? With all the chaos consuming her thoughts, Scarlett put off writing her letter. If she told Rhett about the baby, what would he do? Would he come home and be with her, reject her outright, or return and resent her? In the dream, he questioned if the child was really his. Scarlett didn’t want such a fight on her hands and she most certainly didn’t want Rhett to return home merely to keep up appearances.

“I miss her, too,” Scarlett murmured to the pony when he nudged her hand for more treats. Every time she pictured Bonnie touring London with her father and having a grand time, a piece of her heart shattered. Was it wrong to want her child to love her too, and not prefer Rhett?

Well, perhaps this new baby would be a boy who favored his mother. Yes, she would like that. After petting the pony one last time, Scarlett went back into the house to change.

Rhett would come home eventually. He had to. In the meantime, she strived not to be bored to tears. Since her condition limited her activities, she was stuck to sitting around the house to received guests and work on the books. Despite her inner turmoil, Scarlett put on a smile and showed only her best side to her callers. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to have any excuse to criticize her more than they already did. India could badmouth her to all who would listen, but Scarlett would put on a happy façade.

Today, she paced the floors debating whether she should balance the accounts or write to Rhett. Finally, she sat at her desk to go over the lists and correspondence from Tata. Bills for the plantation piled up these days. Scarlett had to make sure Suellen and Colleen had proper allowances. Her relationships with both her sister went askew since her marriage to Rhett, but Scarlett barely turned her mind to such things. Coleen accepted that her eldest sister did what had to be done to save the family legacy. Unfortunately, Rhett was the only one who could ease tensions with Suellen. He sued the magnetism and charm to make Suellen laugh and become agreeable. A little too well, come to think of it.

No sooner did Scarlett force her thoughts back to the numbers on the page, she was informed she had a visitor. Curious to see who decided to pay her a call, and why, Scarlett rose to her feet and pinched her cheeks. Could her guest be Ashley? They did have a lot to discuss and perhaps they could finally clear the air – 

“Good afternoon, Scarlett.”

Well, well, well, India Wilks. Again. Scarlett wondered whys he bothered to look presentable with this woman in her parlor. Though her smile vanished, Scarlett remembered her manners and gestured for India to sit before she rang for tea.

“There’s no need for that,” India said without bothering to disguise the bitterness in her tone. “What I’ve come to say won’t take a great deal of time.”

Scarlett arched a brow. She wasn’t in the mood for India’s games or viciousness. 

“Oh?” The word came out innocently enough. “Very well. Say what you came to say then.”

The spinster’s eyes narrowed. “Whatever scheme you’re plotting, Scarlett, I demand you stop at once!”

Why the very presumption that India Wilks of all people held sway over her actions made Scarlett burst out laughing. “I can assure you, India-”

“Save your breath! Melanie is a fool to defend your character! The only reason the whole town hasn’t ostracized you is because of her, but soon people are going to see through you! Mark my words!”

Temper rising, Scarlett took several steps toward her rival. A smirk twisted the corners of her lips when India kept the space between them. Coward!

“I have nothing to hide,” she said evenly. “You, however, seem quite obsessed with putting me in my place. Do your worse, India! No one believes your mean-spirited gossip! Which is why you keep coming here to get a reaction!”

“Oh no? You think no one listens? The whole town knows your husband had left you! He isn’t coming back. When enough time passes, you’ll be too shamed to set foot outside your door!”

Hands curling into fists, Scarlett wanted to scrape her nails down India’s cheeks until she wailed for mercy! How dare she perpetuate such rumors then come here to gloat! The jealous ninny! 

When Scarlett managed to find her voice, she spoke with a firm coldness. “This is the second time you’ve come to my house to rub my face in whatever rumor you’re spreading. Shows your desperation, I think. People will always believe Mellie over you and _that’s _what you can’t stand! They all know you’re jealous because Mellie prefers me to you-”__

“I _never _-”__

“As for that fevered imagination of yours, you’ll have to bite your tongue because Rhett will come back. Then, it will be you who won’t be able to show your face!”  
India met Scarlett glare-for-flare. “Then why did he take Bonnie?”

The question caught Scarlett off guard and she caught India’s superior smirk. “Not that it’s any of your affair, but Rhett and I agreed that we wanted our daughter to begin her education abroad. Rhett’s business opportunity happened sooner than expected, but we wanted Bonnie to see the world. Hardly a scandal.”

Suspicion still marred India’s expression. “Then why didn’t he take you?”

Well there as no way Scarlett would confess anything about their fight to this woman, nor would she tell India about the baby before even Rhett knew! Instead of answering, Scarlett pivoted the conversation.

“I do feel sorry for you India. Do all spinsters spend endless hours making up lies to fill the boredom?”

The other woman’s cheeks flushed crimson. Scarlett naturally took great pleasure in the sight. In fact, she had half a mind to give the gossipmonger another slap, nut knew Melanie wouldn’t approve. Currently, getting on Mellie’s bad side would be disastrous. Besides, if push came to shove, Mellie would defend her. Of that Scarlett was certain. Both women in this room knew the truth of that, which gave Scarlett the advantage. Of course, the truth also gave India all the more reason to throw venom at Mrs. Rhett Butler.

“There are plenty of people in Atlanta who would relish your disgrace! You have a long way to fall.”

“Get out,” Scarlett said icily.

“Gladly.” India thrust her nose in the air as she picked up her train and marched for the door. “It’ll be a relief to get out of the grandest house in the city!”

In the wake of the slamming door, chaotic emotions threatened to choke her. Scarlett ran up to her room, flung her body on her bed, and indulged in a long cry. Memories of Rhett flooded to the surface. Specifically ones of him smiling and touching her round bell when she was large with Bonnie. Tough those images offered some small comfort, Scarlett couldn’t help but remember the dream and the aftermath.

Tears soaked her cheeks at the idea of losing this baby. Nevertheless, she wiped away the moisture and reached for her determination. Rhett was in London – dream or no dream – and she had to have a plan to get him back, or India’s threats may come to pass. 

On her feet once more, Scarlett debated taking Mellie’s advice about the letter. It would be a great blow to her pride. Besides, why bother if she knew Rhett would return in a few weeks? The dream did indicate as much. Scarlett debated how to word the news and in the end decided to forgo the letter in favor of balancing the accounts. 

That night the nightmare replayed. Scarlett’s temper exploded over and over when Rhett’s vicious words cut her to the quick! Waking bathed in a cold sweat, the nausea had her running for the basin. Never in her life did she feel so vulnerable! Her stomach emptied violently. Afterwards, she splashed cold water on her face and tried to banish the images of pain and sorrow. 

Why did the dream have to feel so _real _?__

Where was Rhett when she needed him most?


	4. Chapter 4

Scarlett woke again in the middle of the night with a gasp lodged in her throat. Images of the dream quickly dissipated, but her heart slammed against her chest painfully. How long would this suffering continue?! Right now, all Scarlett could think about was how Bonnie stubbornly jumped that fence and died. Her daughter flew forward when the horse abruptly stopped and hit the bars of the fence head first, breaking her neck on contact. Seeing her child die caused Scarlett to fall into a faint. 

Upon waking, Scarlett fell into the deepest, darkest combination of endless despair and flaming anger that consumed her with every breath. Ridding herself of the feelings seemed impossible. Just the notion of looking at Rhett felt like a million blades slicing through the heart. In the aftermath of the accident, he blamed her and she blamed him right back. Hating Rhett deflected her own feelings of guilt and shame. Rhett kept her baby away from her these last three months and Scarlett barely got to see her before. 

But the accident never happened. Or didn’t happen yet. Head aching, Scarlett tossed aside the covers and hobbled to the water basin intending to splash her face with water. Instead, she sank down to her knees as sorrow and fear took hold. She may not be the best mother but she didn’t want to lose her daughter. At the same time, Scarlett deserved to be punished by God in the worst ways. Greed fueled her every move since the war. She married Frank for his money, destroying Suellen’s happiness and hopes in the process. Scarlett never cared. Never apologized. And then there was Ashley…whom she kissed behind Mellie’s back. Whom she lusted after for years. All the horrible thoughts about Melanie over the years, despite all the goodness in the other woman’s heart, should be enough to send Scarlett to the pit for all eternity! The list went on.

Yet, if there was a price to pay for her sins, then she should be the one to pay it. Not her children and certainly not with their lives. Scarlett wiped angrily at her tears as her mind drifted.  
As a girl at Twelve Oaks, Scarlett learned early on that her looks and charm opened the doors to let her get her own way. When she grew up and craved the attention of all the young men of the neighborhood, beaus fell at her feet. Ashley Wilkes was the only man who didn’t bring her flowers and pay her rows of compliments. 

Marrying Charles was wrong. As much as Scarlett loathed India Wiles, she had to acknowledge that she stole the other woman’s happiness just as she stole Suellen’s. All Scarlett cared about was forever having an excuse to be near the man she loved. Her childish selfishness cost others dearly. Poor Charles. He died thinking she adored him. Then the Yankees came and took everything. Her mother, her father, and then the rest of her life. Running Tara practically with her own two hands, Scarlett did many things she would have once swore she was incapable of. That Yankee deserter’s fate was only one example. Mellie kept that secret all these years. Would Scarlett have done things differently if given the chance? Could she have chased the Yankee away instead of killing him? Should she have simply asked Frank for a loan instead of tricking him into marriage? Perhaps, but she would never know. 

By the time the tax bill became an issue, Scarlett’s heart grew stone cold with raw determination. The selfishness she developed as a child solidified into a form of apathy. However, she wasn’t beyond saving. Rhett saw something worthy in her, but she was too consumed with thoughts of Ashley to pay him any mind. His attention flattered her ego, but then he seemed aloof and made all the compliments sound like a game. What did she care if she hurt his feelings since he acted like he didn’t have any? She could never tell if he was serious or not when he spoke of love. Nice words were always followed by sassy insults. 

Yet…Scarlett wanted him. Rhett kept her on her toes and there was something that kept drawing them together. Though she would never admit it, Scarlett thought Rhett handsome in a dashing way. He wasn’t comparable to Ashely but she liked her husband’s looks nonetheless. 

Having this dream over and over again forced Scarlett to face harsh truths. Ashley loved Melanie. The dream showed her what she didn’t want to face and Scarlett realized she never knew Ashley at all. In the light of day, Scarlett remembered that cherished kiss at Tara and hoped Ashley would one day confess that he reciprocated her feelings and choose her over duty and honor, but that action just wasn’t in Ashley’s makeup. 

Scarlett hated Melanie since the announcement of her engagement to Ashley. The dream showed that Scarlett didn’t deserve Melanie’s loyalty, kindness, or love. How many times did Scarlett call Mellie a fool? Ironically, she was the one blind this entire time. The Lord blessed her by putting Mellie in her path. 

Scarlett married Rhett so she would have enough money to safe hold against another war. She wanted security and assurance so that she wouldn’t be left devastated. Sticking her tongue out at all the gossips who stuck their noses up at her every move over the years proved a delicious added bonus. However, Scarlett never considered that she gave plenty of people justification to dislike her.   
Was it too late to change or could she rebuild her reputation? Could she find true happiness? Did she deserve it?

Scarlett’s hand went to her stomach and swallowed the lump in her throat. If she wanted to have this child –and she did – then she needed to make some serious changes. The easiest step would be to start with Mellie. Melanie’s demeanor was always open and welcoming. Honestly, Scarlett sometimes envied that quality. When she was a girl she wanted to be good for her mother, but her Irish temper always tripped up her good intentions. 

Would it hurt to try and change now? Perhaps not, but what if she tried and this awful dream still didn’t go away? The images frightened Scarlett down to her very core.

“Yer up early, Miss Scarlett.”

“I couldn’t sleep, Mammy.”

The servant tsked. “Chil’, you need ta keep your strengf up fer dat baby.”

“I know,” Scarlett said weakly.

Mammy’s eyes narrowed as she studded Scarlett for a long moment. There was something odd about that child lately. Ever since Mr. Rhett and Bonnie left Atlanta, Miss Scarlett grew distant and didn’t act at all like herself. She missed her husband and child, but there was more to it than that. The news of the baby should have put Scarlett in better spirits, but instead, she walked these halls like a ghost with a heavy burden. Mammy wanted to help, but her hands were tied. 

“What do ya wanna wear terday, Miss Scarlett? The pink or da green?”

Scarlett’s eyes suddenly brightened. “Mammy, do you remember when we only had one dress to wear day after day? Look how full the closet is now.”

Worry covered Mammy’s features. “Miss Scarlett, why ye troublin’ yerself wif thoughts like dat? Da war is over.”

“Yes, and I was terrible.”

“Ain’t nofin ta be ashamed of durin dat time.”

The disapproving glare got Scarlett on her feet and choosing her gown. Maybe Mammy had a point, but Scarlett still couldn’t shake away the guilt. Charles and Frank popped into her head more and more these days. What did she have to do to make up for the sins of the past?

Thoughts continued to swirl as Mammy dressed her. Once the luxurious fabric draped over her body, Scarlett almost felt like her old self. By the time her hair was finished, the hour came for making calls. Nerves twisted in Scarlett’s stomach at the very idea of going out but she was determined to see Mellie. 

No sooner did Scarlett reach The Wilks’ door, she was escorted inside immediately. As usual, Mellie received her guest with a huge smile.

“Scarlett! How good of you to visit!”

Unable to hold back a smile of her own, Scarlett stepped forward and hugged Melanie tight. “I adore you, Mellie. You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course, I do.” Melanie stepped back to give her friend a curious look. “Are you feeling well?”

“I-” How could Scarlett explain all of her worries and fears and not sound like a lunatic? Would Mellie even believe a word? Oh, she would be kind and listen, but as for belief? Scarlett doubted even Mellie’s kind heart was limitless. Instead of making a confession about her dreams, Scarlett confessed a different truth.

“I miss Bonnie. And Rhett. I wondered if I could tempt you and Beau to join me for an outing.”

“What, Scarlett! That’s very generous!”

“Is that a ‘yes’?”

“Why don’t we have luncheon tomorrow?”

Disappointment crushed her heart and the smile vanished from Scarlett’s face. “I just want you to know that…I appreciate you, Mellie. I would do anything for you. The whole misunderstanding with Ashley-”

“I know, Scarlett,” Melanie spoke plainly. 

“Do you?”

“Ashley loves you as a sister and many people have trouble understanding that bond.”

“That day we were talking in the shop, we discussed how grand Twelve Oaks used to be and how we couldn’t go back to matter how much we wanted to and I-”

“Scarlett,” Melanie placed a hand over her friends’. “There is no need to tell me this.”

“I need to, Mellie. I want you to know that whatever India claims happened is false.”

“I don’t believe in ideal gossip, Scarlett.” She looked slightly offended by the notion. “You saved me and Beau when he was a baby. You took us in and kept us safe when the last thing you need were more mouths to feed. No, I don’t believe them.”

The last statement was said with such conviction that Scarlett sensed there was more strength in Melanie Wilks than she ever would have guessed. This was a good sign for things to come. Relief and gratitude washed over Scarlett, but a moment later she shook her head as doubts surfaced. 

“I’ve done awful things, Mellie. That soldier and-”

“Hush!” Speaking of that subject in her parlor made Mrs. Wilks uncomfortable.

“But I can’t stop thinking about it lately. How I’ll be punished for it. For Frank.”  
Melanie reached out to squeeze her sister-in-law’s hand. “Scarlett, those men made their own choices. As for the soldier, you kept us safe. He was an intruder and you kept us safe. We both saw the look in his eyes and it wasn’t one of benevolence. You are repentant and I forgive you. God will forgive you as well.”

“I wish that were true.”

“Just think of all your blessings. A beautiful home, plenty of money, a wonderful family with a new addition on the way. You are blessed.”

Is that how Mellie saw her life? As a blessing? Perhaps if one viewed it from the outside, but if she knew how awful she and Rhett could be to each other, then Mellie would hardly sing praises. 

“Rhett and I fight more than we talk.”

“You can change that.”

“You don’t understand,” Scarlett insisted. “Rhett can say such terrible things sometimes and I can never keep my temper.”

The patience never left Melanie’s eyes. “You can try. Did you write to Captain Butler? Your good news can be the first step.”

Scarlett surpassed a sigh. Writing to Rhett probably wouldn’t help. Melanie thought Rhett married her for love, but she couldn’t’ be more wrong. Scarlett married Rhett for his money and though his kisses did make her head spin in wonderful ways, Scarlett didn’t think for a second Rhett’s motives were more than what he claimed at the time. Rhett joke about love – he didn’t feel the sentiment. Most of the time he was cold and distant. 

Scarlett left Melanie’s feeling just as worried and miserable as she did upon arrival. Despite Mellie’s assurances, Scarlett felt doomed. At least Scarlett was able to tell Melanie how much she really did care. One goal accomplished.

Once home, Scarlett went straight to her chamber. The small portrait of Ashley was still in the dresser drawer where she left it. With a shake of her head, Scarlett realized her infatuation for this man was dying. Ashley would always be a friend, but lust for him hardly sparked in her heart since the dream began. There was no point in hanging on to this trinket. 

When the portrait fell from her fingers into the trash bin, her heart didn’t flip in protest. Agony didn’t seize her being. No longer would she dream of Ashely Wilks. Satisfied, Scarlett now had to figure out how to convince Rhett to love her.


	5. Chapter 5

Rain pelted against the glass and dripped down the pane to puddle on the floor. Rhett sat facing the storm, his head in his hands, crying. He looked a mess with his shirt open, his cheeks unshaven, and his eyes puffed red. All he could think about was that Scarlett could die and it was all his fault. 

He deserved her hate. Rhett did everything he could think of to make Scarlett fall in love with him – everything except tell her the truth about what was in his heart. He wasn’t a fool. He saw how she stomped over her admirers at Twelve Oaks all those years ago. So, Rhett figured he would play the game and hope that eventually Scarlett’s so-called feelings for Ashley Wilkes would fade. Turns out, he played the chump after all. Every time he turned around, Ashley’s name poured from Scarlett’s lips. The woman had no clue how her devotion to another man tore his heart to shreds. Hell, even if she did know, Scarlett probably wouldn’t bat a beautiful eyelash over his suffering. 

Never once did Scarlett consider him. Rhett knew she married him for his money but he hoped with time she would develop at deeper attachment than the one she had for his pocketbooks. Though Rhett knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Scarlett was faithful to her marriage vows, he also knew that every night before she fell asleep his darling wife imagined how perfect her life would be if the stars aligned and Ashley were free to be hers. 

Several times over the years, Rhett almost confessed his love, especially when they were expecting Bonnie. That time was the happiest in his marriage, but in the end, Rhett always hesitated. Scarlett had a habit of tossing aside weak-willed beaus. She loved Ashley because he refused to fawn over her beauty or dance to her tune. Rhett thought if he did the same, Scarlett would want him as much as he wanted her. Life had other plans. 

Rhett grew so jaded that he needed to escape. New horizons promised some relief. Perhaps a separation would do them both some good. Taking Bonnie to London seemed like the perfect solution. Yes, Rhett wanted his daughter to see other parts of the world, but he would be lying if he said the petty, resentful side of him didn’t want to punish Scarlett in the process. 

At this point, Rhett strived to purge Scarlett from his heart and blood. Perhaps, given enough time, he would be able to get over her and move forward. To his surprise, there wasn’t a single night in London that Scarlett didn’t visit his dreams. The cravings for that woman would never fully dwindle, but his stubbornness refused to give up his quest so easily. Only when Bonnie cried about missing her mother did Rhett realize how much he missed Scarlett as well. Since peace eluded him, Rhett went home for Bonnie’s sake. However, pride had him telling Scarlett he intended to leave again. Standing on those stairs, she looked as beautiful as ever. His heart did somersaults and his gut twisted with desire but he’d be damned if he show one iota of his real feelings!

When Scarlett told him about the baby, pure joy seized Rhett’s being. Hope rose anew. However, the second he went to hug his wife in celebration, Scarlett rejected him and refused his touch. In that moment, Rhett’s heart sank to his knees. Scarlett didn’t want to have his children. No, she despised him. 

Per his usual form, Rhett covered his hurt with a joke and now he lived with the horrible consequences. Rhett was so wracked with guilt when Melanie came upon him that he didn’t bother to disguise his tears. He didn’t bother to check his words either. Truth poured from his lips and he didn’t care. 

Melanie didn’t judge him. Instead, she comforted him and rekindled the dying hope. Maybe they could forge a second chance. If Scarlett could forgive him, then maybe they could be happy. Armed with this renewed hope, Rhett gathered enough courage to face his wife, swallow his pride, and ask for another chance…

Scarlett woke with a start. Rhett’s image remained vivid in her mind as she sat up in bed. Rhett cried over the fact she didn’t care for him? The scene of him sobbing with his face in his hands as the rain soaked the floor twisted her heart in ways Scarlett never thought possible. Could what she dreamt possibly be true? Did Rhett leave because of heartbreak? If so, then Scarlett had reason to hope!

An instant later, reality slapped her silly. Since when did she put faith in dreams? Yes, Scarlett desired Rhett and wanted him to desire her too, but just because she dreamt he cared for her didn’t make it real. At the same time, Scarlett realized that the scenes that repeated in this recurring dream never changed or wavered. The dream refused to abate and it steeled her determination to win back her husband. 

The dream also forced Scarlett to take a hard look at her life. Yes, she did horrible things and used people to achieve her own ends, but she couldn’t go on in the same manner. If she did, she would lose everything that mattered. Rhett and Bonnie didn’t deserve to suffer because of her mistakes, nor did this innocent baby growing inside her. 

Thoughts of Bonnie caused Scarlett’s heart to constrict. In her dream, her precious daughter died just like Pa and Scarlett had to fight back tears. Her only comfort was the fact that Bonnie was alive and well and with her father. Otherwise, Scarlett would have become a bumbling mess. Goodness knows what sort of state Mammy would have found her in if she didn’t come to her senses!

As long as Bonnie was alive, Scarlett would try not to be mad at Rhett for taking her away. Restless, Scarlett climbed out of bed in favor of pacing the floors. What could she do until Rhett’s return? Scarlett did her best to repair the damage India’s rumors caused but there was only so much she could do alone. She would continue making an effort to be a better friend to Mellie. Though she shouldn’t care about India questioning her motives, a part of Scarlett did feel ashamed. 

Scarlett didn’t care what folks whispered about her behind her back as long as she got her way in the end. However, lately, Scarlett came to realize the value of a good reputation. The trade of having money and security seemed fair, but as the years passed, Scarlett felt like she was on the outside looking in. If not for Mellie, then Scarlett could very well have become a social outcast. All the money in the world couldn’t buy a good reputation. Didn’t Rhett say something like that?

Money didn’t buy her Ashley. No amount of scheming to keep him close ever won him over, but stupid girl that she was, Scarlett convinced herself it was enough. Now, she felt like she wasted so many years. Worse, Scarlett feared this dream was a warning. Her punishment for all her greed and impudence would be to lose her baby, Bonnie, Melanie, Ashley, _and _Rhett. That knowledge scared Scarlett down to her weary bones.__

____

Unable to stand the stuffy air a moment longer, Scarlett raced out of her suite, down the stairs, and out the back door. The sun rose but the hour was still early. The servants didn’t comment and Scarlett took a turn around the gardens. Maybe she could visit the lumber business. 

____

Profits were higher than ever but whenever Scarlett thought of the numbers she felt…empty. If she had to choose, would she keep the business or would she pursue Rhett? Her heart screamed one answer. Rhett. Thoughts of her husband consumed her thoughts as she wandered back to the house. The moment Scarlett saw Mammy waiting in the main hallway, she knew she was in trouble.

____

“Ya know ye shouldna be out in yer condition.”

____

“Yes, I know,” Scarlett sighed.

____

“Yer worn out,” Mammy grumbled as she ushered the lady of the house toward the stairs. “Ya need ta be thinkin’ about dat baby.”

____

Scarlett didn’t argue as Mammy ordered her a bath and helped washed her. Afterwards, Scarlett stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror. Her hands covered her belly. She wasn’t showing yet. If not for the morning sickness, she wouldn’t know she carried a babe at all. Suddenly, her mind shifted to the ball she attended when she first came to Atlanta. It was the second time she ever ran into Rhett. That night, Rhett promised to keep her secret about her feelings for Ashley. He also paid an extraordinary amount to dance with her despite Scarlett’s state of mourning. 

____

He also said he wanted to hear her say that she loved him. At the time, Scarlett was still so enamored of Ashley that she didn’t care about Rhett’s feelings. So much so that Scarlett was careless with them, but now she couldn’t help but wonder. 

____

Rhett kept his promise. He never told a soul about the truth of Scarlett’s feelings. Not even when she treated him horribly. The more Scarlett insisted she loved Ashley, the more Rhett’s condescending manners increased. Did he act that way because he loved her and wanted to hide it or was he really a heartless cad? As much as Scarlett always thought the latter, perhaps she was wrong all along. 

____

Of course, how could she not be confused about her husband? Rhett embodied so many contradictions. He saved her that night Atlanta burned only to leave her by the side of the road to fend for herself. Scarlett couldn’t forgive him for calling her a selfish creature. He uttered romantic nonsense just before he kissed her, but Scarlett thought he meant only to steal one last kiss off the last woman in his presence before joining the war effort. Rhett took advantage of an opportunity, otherwise, how could he leave someone he loved alone and helpless? Then again, Rhett never considered her to be the sensitive, fainting type. 

____

Slapping him was satisfying, but the cad only grinned and left anyway. Scarlett realized she only cared about Rhett when she needed something. Yet…when Scarlett faced another crisis, the first person she thought of was Rhett. And he was there. 

____

True, he refused to help her pay that taxes on Tara and in her desperation Scarlett married Frank Kennedy, but when Frank and Ashley got into trouble with the ragamuffins that attacked Scarlett by the mill, Rhett was there to cover up the incident and convince the Yankee soldiers that Ashley had nothing to do with the deadly shooting. Rhett couldn’t save Frank but he did try.

____

The enormity of her second husband’s fate rested squarely on Scarlett’s shoulders. 

____

Death surrounded her, so was it any wonder that her dreams would predict even more of the same on the horizon? On top of losing her children, Scarlett would lose Rhett. How could she prevent any of it?

____

If Scarlett told Rhett that she loved him, he would only laugh in her face. Then, he would taunt her about Ashley. No, a direct approach wouldn’t work on her husband. Scarlett remembered the rare moments Rhett spoke of love, so she would simply have to wait for him to do so again and then be kind to him. Kind and serious.

____

Just the idea of confessing her feelings and having Rhett return them filled her with giddiness as well as trepidation. Of course, for any of these scenarios to play out, Rhett would have to return to Atlanta. According to her dreams, he would. Scarlett had to be patient. 

____

If the dream’s portrayal of Rhett’s return came to pass, Scarlett vowed not to dwell on all their fights and petty jealousies. Their relationship has some amazing moments. Their honeymoon in New Orleans rose immediately. That entire time, Scarlett didn’t once think of Ashley. 

____

When Scarlett first realized she was pregnant, Rhett acted nonchalantly. He claimed he didn’t care if she had one child or twenty. At the time, she honestly thought he meant those words, but now doubts nipped the back of her mind. Rhett adored Bonnie. If he didn’t care about children, then he wouldn’t love her so much. Yes, he also spoiled Bonnie rotten, but that could be fixed, surely. 

____

After Bonnie’s birth, Scarlett ruined things again by banishing her husband from her bed. She fell back into old, fanciful habits. Love and Rhett were never thought of in the same breath. Not consciously. Despite all the misery she inflicted on him, Scarlett acknowledged that Rhett never lashed out at her as he should have. True, he threw brandy at the walls, insulted her with sarcasm, and made fun of her materialistic ways. It wasn’t until the night after Ashley’s birthday party that he took matters up a notch. 

____

Apparently, even Rhett had a breaking point. Drunk, angry, and mocking, Rhett told her truths she didn’t want to hear. Truths Scarlett’s dreams refused to let her run away from and ignore. That night was also the night they made this baby. 

____

Memories of that night even now heated her blood. Waking the next morning alone sent a cold slice of resentment through her heart but her good mod lingered. Rhett did things to her body Scarlett never realized could be so…so…well, part of her thought their relationship improved. Or at the very least they would call a truce. When Rhett came to her later that morning, she greeted him with a smile but that mask of sarcasm of his fell right back into place. Worse, he stole Bonnie away to London and left her to deal with the gossips alone – again. 

____

Rhett always said they were the same sort. Two of a kind and that’s why they belonged together. Scarlett gazed out the window wondering if he still held that opinion. If her dream was real, then Rhett would be home soon. If he came home, Scarlett vowed to seize a second chance. All Rhett had to do was come home and she would do right by him.

____


End file.
